All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize