i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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