Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
