put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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