if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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