sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
