I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
