why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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