Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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