i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
