hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
