I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
