i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize