I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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