I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
