Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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