We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My ATM looks so different sober.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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