he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
