I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
