Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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