moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
