So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
