he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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