make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
two words: eviction party
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
