I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
