I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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