You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
