"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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