btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
