I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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