he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
