i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was a blind-side dick pic.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
