I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize