...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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