I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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