Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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