I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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