Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
