she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
