I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
