My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
