We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize