I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize