He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
