dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
