Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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