people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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