I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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