He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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