Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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