I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
bring money and cleavage
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
