I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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