she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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