My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
