Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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