yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
