It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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