I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
