So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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