you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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